Cold...and New Thoughts!

I am posting a picture of our first snow here in Maryland!

I grew up in sunny California, used to 70 degree Christmas mornings, rarely wearing boots or heavy coats.  I loved the beach, flip flops, sand, long summer evenings, bar-be-qued ribs on Dad's grill, eating outside on our patio often, and riding with the windows always down, and sunshine....oh the life giving sunshine!

I think of myself as a California girl still....if only in my heart.  I married the man of  my dreams, a man who is a Baltimore man!  He grew up here, went to school here, knows all the streets and how to get somewhere using all the short cuts!  He loves the Orioles, Ravens and Maryland Terps, his alma mater.  I love them now too, because I love him.

A California girl marries an East Coast guy!  Interesting life together for sure!  I have come to love many things about Maryland. Green, green and more green! Trees, lakes, streams, deer everywhere you look. Blue skies that knock your shoes off.   And then there is snow, come winter.  It's pretty and white and very cold.  I like it when it first snows. Everything looks clean and white. I sit and watch and drink my hot tea or coffee. Nice! The next day I look and the snow is not gone!

This is the part I am learning to not complain about. It stays, and stays. It gets heavy to move, it gets dirty. It melts and re-freezes.  It makes you slip. It is hard to walk on. It is in the way when you want to park. It clogs up things. It makes traffic a pain. It's hard to stop at stoplights.Driving in it can be scary. People do it all the time. Many love it. Many wouldn't live anywhere else.

So I am learning to 'like' it too.  I am not quite 'loving' it yet, but there is hope.  I have come to realize if I constantly say "I hate winter" I will never love it.  Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So.......yes, I love summer! Yes, I love sunshine.  Yet, I am learning to find 'fun' things about winter.  Warm mittens.  Hot Chocolate. Hot Latte's. Seeing my kids laugh as they fly down the sled hill.  A good book under a warm blanket as the snow flies....all true blessings!

So, I am committing to NOT say "I hate winter" anymore.  Let's hope as my words, thoughts and focus change, my heart will too!  Thank you Lord for winter and snow.

Gotta go check and see if the tea pot is whistling.....
     Thinking new thoughts, Lynette

Marriage Monday

Today is Marriage Monday ~

How often do you really really 'look' at your husband? Not the causal glance but really look at him, deeply into his eyes?

I had a friend in Kingston who was very frustrated. She was a little older than me but married for just a few years. She said he hubby never looked at her. He did talk to her but never looked at her. She was pretty, stylish and slim. I talked with her about men, marriage and relationships. I asked her if she 'smiled' at him? Did she speak softly, drawing him in? We spoke at length about what femininity is. One day she called me up and asked me out to lunch, (a major planning for a Mom with 5 kids at home, homeschooling) which I accepted.

She told me a story. She had spoken to her hubby of her frustration. He didn't agree. He thought he looked at her all the time. She wanted eye contact. She wanted smiles AT her. So she got up one morning, washed her face and drew a big black 'dot' on the end of her nose. She used an eyebrow pencil to do it. She also put on some make-up, did her hair and dressed as usual.

She made his breakfast and sat down to eat with him, the newspaper spread out before him as he ate. No reaction. They had a wood working design studio and he went to work on that in the garage. Still no reaction. She made him lunch. She worked around the house, running into him many times during the day. Dinner over she settled in for the evening with her hubby. At bedtime she took the bull by the horns.

She took him by the face and looked straight into his eyes. He said "you have dirt on your face"! She said " all day I have had this dot on the end of my nose and you never noticed!" He didn't notice and he knew it.

I remember this story often. We look, but we don't see. At our kids, at our friends, and yes, even at our spouses. Take time today to really see ~ with the eyes of love!

Lord, teach me to SEE! Lynette

PS. Yes, they are still married. He's learned to 'see' better and she learned to give her expectations to the LORD ~ HE always 'sees'!

Marriage Monday

Went to the Airport on Saturday and picked up my wonderful, awesome hubby and our son Caleb after a week in Chihuahua, Mexico on a missions trip with 14 guys. God is amazing. God is at work in the hearts of men, women and children there.

Yesterday was a really really huge blessing to our Church family. Each of the twelve men (two were not there, Juan and Rich) shared a 'snapshot' of what God did in their life during the week. It was amazing.....I cried through it all out of happiness! The Spirit was really present. It is hard to put into words of the blessing of it all.

My heart is full. I am so thankful. I am overflowing with gratefulness and happiness to be envied. Because God is good, so good. He has a plan and it is for our good and for HIS glory!

Since today is Marriage Monday I am sharing a link. It is about intimacy in your marriage. Taking the initiative in your physical union. Sheila says it well and I agree 100% with this one blog.

I don't usually read many blogs other than Pioneer Woman (recipes--yummy) http://thepioneerwoman.com/ and Girltalk http://www.girltalkhome.com/.

Yet, I think this is one very good post from Sheila. She says it well. If this is a struggle for you (tired, worn out etc.), I would say, pray and ask the LORD to give you a willing heart. He will! I know, because HE has done it for me!

http://internetcafedevotions.com/2011/01/a-new-years-resolution-lets-initiate/

Bless your hubby soon by taking the initiative! If you love him you will care about this too!

My cup runneth over, Lynette

Marriage Monday

It's the little things in life that make life sweet or bitter.

My hubby is in Mexico ministering to Tamahara Indians with 13 other men from here. How I miss him yet how happy I am that he was able to GO! My heart is in this with him.

He is there, and I am here. I am praying often for him and for all God is doing there in Mexico.

I was hit this morning of all the little things Dave does that I have often taken for granted. And it makes me wonder about myself. I 'thought' I was a pretty 'thankful' wife. Since he has been gone, I now know I am not as much as I should be. (There is hope!)

~waking up to no coffee smells (he is the coffee master here)

~realizing the dogs are sitting in his chair for a lonngggg time waiting for him (he throws the ball in the mornings to them as he reads)

~packing the car myself for Sunday

~warming up the vehicle on a cold morning

~someone to laugh with as we make the bed together in the mornings.....

~Rebekah and I realizing late last night that no one fed Taffy and Emma this morning ~ yikes!

~Someone asking when dinner will be ready......

~The oohs and ahhs over something I threw together and called it dinner

~Mailman here....is two days of mail really still sitting in our mailbox?

~his smile

~his presence

It really is amazing to me how much effort it takes to 'focus' and get things done around here when my honey is not here. I find myself not motivated. I am a lost case. I seem to wander around and look at things....hahaha. Monday is laundry day and I have not done one load. I feel like loose ends here.

Yes, Rebekah fed Taffy and Emma this morning!

I made my own coffee, though doesn't taste the same.

Silence as I made the bed this morning.

Only 5 days to go.......

My life is sweet not bitter,

Grateful in a new way, Lynette

Love is......

The world tell us February is "LOVE" month. Yet, in God's economy everyday is "LOVE" day. He tells us the world will know we are Christians by the the love we have one for another.

What demonstration of love do you give those around you? More specifically how do you demonstrate love to your husband? Love is in the details. I have so many examples ~ times I have failed, times God's grace has enabled me to give.

Do I insist on my own way? THE restaurant I want to go to? THE movie I want to see? THE temperature in the house I want?

Do I keep quiet and listen rather than 'butt in' and start yapping? Do I pray asking God if I should speak or be quiet?

Am I willing to go the extra mile? Do the extra thing? Stay up an hour later to help out? Skip my nap so someone else can have one? Let the plans we had planned go, so someone else benefits. Little details that speak love.

Love is a strong witness to the world. Not the "mampy pamby" kind of love but true love. Love that gives and expects not in return. Love that sacrifices ones own desires. Love that reaches out to the unlovely. Love that forgives. Love that desires for another that which one wants for herself. Love that speaks the truth.

You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. Free from you. Free from others. Free to love others you may not otherwise have an affinity for.

As I posted in earlier posts, we are studying Song of Songs in our Sunday School class on Sundays. It is an adult class of married couples. This week we were looking at Song of Solomon 8:1-7. In verses 6-7, we are introduced to seven different aspects of love. How many do you see in these verses? What are they?

*Personal ~ 'set me' as a seal upon your heart.

*Protected ~ his care for her and her care for him.

*Powerful ~ Love is strong as death.

*Possessive ~ Godly jealousy of intimacy. For one.

*Passionate ~ Love is full of fire.

*Perseveres ~ Love is going to endure.

*Priceless ~ cannot be purchased.

This week as I have continued to 'meditate' on these truths, I have asked myself many questions. Do I love like this? Am I the 'lover' God desires me to be to my honey. Is my love for Dave as strong as death? Do I persevere in love? Every day God has given me something to think about in light of these Scriptures. And to ask forgiveness for.

Food for thought.

Good for me. What about you? Do you love like God wants you to?

I may be married 40 years, yet I still have lots to learn and apply!

God's Grace is so evident to me today ~ how I thank HIM he doesn't give up on me~

Grateful Girl here, Lynette

Marriage Monday

Yesterday, our Sunday School teacher *my hubby* asked us what our first date together was. Everyone in our class is married as we are studying Song of Songs. Good memories.

I love weddings. I love marriage. A friend and I were talking about weddings and marriage and all things love recently. I made the comment, 'a wedding a marriage does not make'. Don't get me wrong. I love weddings. They are the vehicle used to make vows, holy before the Lord.

Today young ladies spend huge amounts of money on wedding dresses ($6,000 ~ really?), flowers, receptions and shoes. We girls spend hours and hours shopping, planning and making decisions. For one day. ONE DAY.

When young couples call to ask my hubby to marry them he kindly tells them his fee. His fee is not in dollars but in time. 10 weeks of pre-marital

counseling. Between 90 minutes and 2 hours a week for 10 weeks. Good stuff! Believe it or not some say "Oh, we don't have the time". What? Tons of time to plan the wedding yet not so much time to plan a life together. So many people today think if they plan the perfect wedding, the perfect ceremony, the perfect reception, they will have a perfect marriage. Not so.

As most of you know, marriage is so much more than the perfect wedding. Most of us don't remember much of it. I remember very little. Or we have a tale or two to tell of things gone wrong. My little brother (ring-bearer) played with the turn style on the recorder my Pastor was taping our wedding for us as a gift. On the tape you can hear Pastor DeVries say "No Kurt ~ leave it alone". (Kurt was 5) At my sisters wedding the brother of the groom fainted dead away during the vows. (He was hot) .

All this to say. Wise is the young lady that plans, yes, for THE DAY, though not just for the ONE DAY. Plan for a godly marriage. Plan for being a faithful wife. Plan by learning to cook. Plan by knowing how to make and maintain a budget. Plan by learning how to do laundry. Learn how to clean. Learn how to grocery shop wisely. Plan by learning what your man likes. Plan by spending time with the lover of your soul, who ultimately will make your marriage GREAT! You see, marriages made in heaven look to heaven for the wisdom of a GREAT marriage.

I still like Sunday School ~

I love being married too~

Yet, Love HE who is faithful, lover of my soul, most of all,

Lynette

Marriage Monday

My creative Hubby surprised me on Valentines Day! This surprise was on our bathroom mirror and the first thing I saw on Valentines Day morning!

So special to me!

These sweet 'blessings' all over the house!

On the downstairs mirrors too.

So thoughtful, so creative, so loving to me ....

Even in the family room upstairs!

Valentines love from my hubby to me ~ Dave is the most loving there is!

Who said "love" get old? Nope! Not around here! It only gets better and better!

We love because HE, Jesus, first loved us.

I am so grateful and full, Lynette

Marriage Monday

Today is Marriage Monday!

Our Sunday School class always has homework. I like this kind of homework....smile! I like it because you don't have to do it alone. We get to do our homework together! Bonus!

As we studied Song of Songs yesterday in Sunday School we were looking at Chapter 6:11 through 7:10.

These are the most amorous verses in the Bible relating to intimacy in marriage.

Our Sunday School teacher began with some observations about men.

~ men are visual. They notice a pretty woman but this doesn't mean he prefers her over his wife.

~ men's minds file snap shots. God has wired them this way.

~ temptations and sin are different. He notices but lingering is sin.

~ wives are not to 'judge' their husband for noticing. She can help him avoid some images.

We discussed so many aspects of these verses. I will just note two.

!. Men are visual ~ wives are to be "visually generous" to their husbands. They are to fill up his mind of 'Rolodex' with images of his own wife. This is loving her husband.

2. Wives like words ~ husbands are to be "verbally generous" to their wives. She wants to hear his thoughts and words of love from his heart to her.

Also notice that these verses are descriptive, not prescriptive. This is a goal not a rule. We are not to 'demand' but to seek to minister to one another unselfishly in intimacy

Homework~

Husband to wife: How can I be more verbally generous to you? Do I speak enough during our times of intimacy?

Wife to husband: What are your favorite snapshots of me? Which ones do you recall most fondly? What can I do to be more visually generous with you?

Homework is good because it helps us to apply that which we are trying to learn and apply.

I love being married to Dave and I love "homework" too!

"I am my beloved's and he is mine", Lynette

Marriage Monday

I have been thinking about our Sunday School Class yesterday. I love Sunday School. So many people think Sunday School is only for kids. Not so. Our Church has Sunday School for every age, and every walk of life. We have had soooo many different classes. They change every 13 weeks.

I'm attending the Marriage Class. We are studying Song of Solomon. Written on marriage. the Bridegroom and Bride. We were on Song of Songs 6:2-10 yesterday. It speaks of reconciliation between a husband and wife, after a spat. She was selfish. She didn't want to get up and open the door, having taken a bath and all settled in warm and snug.

One important truth to always remember in marriage ~ YOU are a sinner and you married a sinner. No surprise, right? No, I think we sometimes forget this important truth. We are so in need of the gospel everyday. The gospel is the answer to marital 'spats'. We are selfish at times. We are not thoughtful at times. We neglect the important things sometimes. We sin. Our spouse sins.

Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness is needed always. If we do not forgive, if we hold on to it, or only shove under the rug, or deny it....we open ourselves to bitterness.

Bitterness is poison to a relationship. Any relationship, especially our marriages are spoiled by bitterness. "Bitterness is produced, not by the size of the offense, but the proximity of the offender. We are rarely bitter at someone we do not know." ~ Dave

How does bitterness come? What is the result? How do we combat it?

It comes from an unwillingness to forgive. Forgiveness. When we are unwilling to forgive, we enter into bitterness. Bitterness can easily creep into our relationships, if we are not diligent. Bitterness eats people alive. It starts on the inside and is like cancer...silently eating you up inside. It spills onto others and colors your whole world. It lies to you. It kills you and those around you. It is a root that takes the gospel to get rid of.

We combat it by remembering how 'black' our own sins are. And the magnitude of our sin. We all sin everyday. We do what we don't want to do; think, say, or be. (commissions) We also don't do what we do want to do; Demonstrate love, show kindness, OLAT (over-look-a-transgression), sacrifice, neglecting others. (omissions)

Those who see themselves as God sees them are always, always, always easier to live with because they know their need for the Grace of God. They see their own need for the CROSS and therefore understand others struggles with selfishness also.

So if you are bitter? Confess it. Run to the CROSS and dump the load. BE FREE of your sin. That is why Jesus came. To set us free from sin and self. Repent. Repenting is turning 180 degrees and going the other way ~ refuse to be bitter anymore. When you see a hint of it, run to the Cross. Period.

What joy in walking with Jesus. Lighthearted. Free. Full of hope. Seeing the beautiful face of HE who is faithful!

I love Sunday School!

Belonging to HE who IS faithful ~ Lynette

Marriage Monday

~ Marriage Monday ~

Our Sunday School Class for this quarter is studying about Marriage. We finished up our study with Ted Tripp called "What did you Expect" and had a time of discussion.

Somehow the question came up, "Why is 'public display of affection' between a husband and wife often times seen as 'not appropriate' around Church (before or after the services) ? Kissing and hugs. Read Song of Solomon. We read the first 5 verses. Some amazing things came out! The very first topic is KISSING. She initiates the kissing too.

Our Sunday School teacher (my husband) mentioned the fact that God's Word is truth. Kissing is a clear indicator of the health of a marriage. If you have a healthy marriage, you probably kiss a lot. A LOT is good. Very GOOD! If you hardly ever kiss, if you don't ever kiss better check things out concerning your marriage. God likes married people to kiss. He has given us marriage as a picture of Christ and His Church (His bride).

Kiss him in the morning, kiss him in the evening, kiss him at noon-time, kiss him when you go out, kiss him when you come in, kiss him always and ever! There is no such thing as kissing too much.

One of the things my husband said is 'your children should see you kissing all the time. When they say...ohhhh stop....then you are just where you should be.' Kids need to see parents kissing!

I so enjoy this Sunday School Class. It makes me think. It is timely. So many marriages are in trouble, all around us. Christian marriages too. It should make us all sad. Don't wait until you have trouble. Do as God tells us in HIS Word. Kiss your husband. Love him. Be loyal. Respect Him because God tells you too. What man doesn't love being desired by his own wife. Just do it! Go kiss your husband, really really kiss him!

A new slant on kissing here, Lynette

40th Anniversary ~ Sweet Gift

My side of the bed....she knows I love bubbles!

Dave's side of the bed...he is blowing bubbles that turn into hearts as they flow onto my side of the bed........we love it!

Pillowcases Jeannette embroidered for our 40th Anniversary ~ SO SWEET!

Thank you Jeannette and Rob for thinking of us in such a darling and sweet way~ a daily reminder of our gracious and loving marriage! God is so good, and we are thankful!

Gratitude Check

I did the 30 Days of Gratitude Attitude in November. It was a blessing and I learned a few things in the process. I learned I am not as steeped in gratitude as I thought I was. I thought I was a very grateful person. To my chagrin, I found out I am not as much as I want to be or thought I was. Isn't that true for most of us a lot of the time?

Gratitude does not come naturally for any of us. Especially with children. Yet there is something remarkable about a contented thankful child. Children learn best by example. Even we as adults learn by example, if we have our eyes and ears open. Do my children hear me thank their father when he changes the dead light bulb out? Do they hear me thank him when he opens the door for me, or kindly gets me a glass of water to drink? Do those around me hear me thank the Lord for the sunshine, or beautiful flowers or for his provision of needs?

Do my children hear me grumble when Dad is late for dinner due to work, or grumble when the sun doesn't show up for a week, or someone is slow in my lane as I drive? Why is grumbling so easy?

Gratitude is very much caught rather than taught. How contagious am I at home? How contagious are you at home, at work or at Church? Good things to consider!

Sit down and think about your 'gratitude quotient'. I know I have been doing that for the last couple days too. Think about who God has placed in your sphere of influence. If you have children, they are watching you closer than you know. If you don't have children at home, what about friends at work or at Church? What are you teaching them about gratitude by your lifestyle? I am learning to pray when I am tempted to 'grumble'. It really does help!

Thanksgiving for 2010 is gone. Yet GRATITUDE is not. I learned about myself this year. I hope you did too. Let us grow in our heart gratitude attitude. I know I desire this and I hope you do too! "He is able to do more than we ask or think".

Gratefully HIS, Lynette

Keep Your Heart

"Keep your heart with all diligence." Proverbs 4:23

As we think about marriage today, since it is 'Marriage Monday' this verse comes to my mind. Why? Because in order to cultivate and keep a tender love for my husband I must guard my heart against sin.

When my emotions roar up, as they did this week, and I feel less loving towards my hubby, a blinking red light in my mind should warn me. I can ignore it if I so desire. Yet, I don't want to ignore it because I desire to desire the truth. I have learned to 'fight' the good fight. How easily I can fall into sin and not tell myself the truth!

I keep a copy of one of Jonathan Edwards resolutions in my journal. He wrote: "Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination."

When that alarm goes off, I must examine my heart and repent of any sin. I run to the Cross. This is the way to maintain a tender love for our husband. When we agree with the diagnosis of Scripture as seen in Romans 3:23 , we can also receive the remedy. The forgiveness of Christ becomes ours and the power to change right along with it.

Charles Spurgeon wrote this:

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it." (Sermon "Ripe Fruit" #945)

I remember my husband is a sinner. BUT I AM TOO ~ my sins are great...who am I to point out the speck in his eye when I have a 'boulder of a log' in my eye? God's truth sets us free. He always tells us the truth ~ that to first take the log out of my eye and then gently attend to the speck in his. Often as I remove the log from my own eye....the speck disappears! Amazing! What great affection I have for the love of my life although I do not always show it. How easily my sin blinds me to my own heart condition.

So my thought today is "Keep watch on your heart ~ for out of the heart flow the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23

Easy? No.

Good? Yes.

Worth it? Always.

Fighting the good fight this week, though not me, but HE...who is faithful...on my behalf ~ Lynette

Marriage Monday Part 2

As promised from last week ~ Here is Marriage Monday Part 2.

40 years together, married and best friends...my hubby and me. He took me to Hilton Head for a week of celebration and memory sharing of our past 42 years of knowing each other. When we came home he announced one more special 'gift'. Extending the celebration into a full year of celebrating!! What? Can this be?

Yes, so for the weeks since May 16th my wonderful, dear, kind, loving husband has written me love notes 5 days a week. He said he wants to do this for 40 weeks....we are in week 24! YES! Notes left on my bed table or on my pillow each night. All kinds....some make me cry. Some make me laugh. Some make me blush. Some make me smile. ALL make me glad I am married to this man!

I asked and received permission to share one today. Not all of it, just partial.....hey.....you can fill in the blanks, I am sure!

On the front of this computer generated card is a small picture of a garden with two small ducks sitting really close together (real) and under that picture is:

Happy 40th Anniversary

Week Twenty Four

Card Three

I open it and read ~

Love' Philosophy

By Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion

Nothing in the world is single,

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle-

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high Heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea-

What are all these kissings worth

If thou kiss not me?

"What would life be like without your sweet kisses and if our lives were not mingled together."

~ Dave

Romantic! (He has acquired this trait over the years ~ he wasn't romantic when we were first married......there is HOPE!!!)

He is the kind of husband every woman would ask God for if she was wise enough to ask HIM!

Deserved not am I.....it is only God' precious Grace given to me ~ how I thank HIM!

My heart is so FULL ~ Sherry Lynette

PS. I am writing him notes too....just not as eloquent or as often ~

Question of the day ~

Do you keep a journal?

What do you write in it?

Marriage Monday

I know I said part 2 from last week would be today, but I will continue that later in the week. I came across an article about "Bonded Couples" and I liked the reminders because it is so practical and I am a very practical lady.

So here are some very practical ways to build into you husband and invest in being more deeply 'bonded' together ~ which makes the LORD extremely happy!

A couple things I would add. Number one should be PRAY for your husband. Pray for his relationship with Christ. Pray for his integrity. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength in a day and age when men are torn asunder, especially godly men. Pray for his relationships with other godly brothers. Ask God to make him HIS man. Ask God to keep YOU out of the way as He works. God will answer!

The second thing is never stop showing your husband respect. That is what HE desires. We just naturally 'love' our husband, which is nice.....yet what he really likes is respect. Respect should be something we as women should always, always, always be learning more about and practicing daily, if you love your husband.

I have been married 40 years and am still 'learning' the power of respecting as God asks me to. I shudder to think how disrespectful I had been at times earlier in my marriage, to my own shame. 1 John 1:9 is the remedy. AND asking for forgiveness of my always forgiving husband. Study, look it up, practice it. Godly women have done this down through the ages.....and I want too also!

Here are practical reminders to all of us ~

Have a great day and give your hubby a big 'hug' as he comes home today with sweet words of a grateful heart for WHO he is!!! Tell HIM!!!! I know I will and I hope you do too!

6 Habits of Highly Bonded Couples

Highly bonded couples…

1. Are courteous and kind to each other.

A little kindness goes a long way. Try to treat your husband like he's a good friend. If you're rude and snippy to your husband, why will he want to be nice to you?

2. Talk about issues before they get out of hand.

In marriage, you have to choose your battles, but if you sense that an irritation is becoming a major annoyance, you need to talk about it with your husband.

3. Believe in each other.

If you think your husband is a loser, you're going to treat him that way. Even if he has a track record of business failures or poor decisions, keep your opinion of those outcomes separate from who he is as a person.

4. Assume the best about each other.

Look for the good things about your husband and assume the best in his actions and words. Instead of assuming that he has bad intentions, give him the benefit of the doubt before you jump to conclusions.

5. Live in a "we" world.

Couples who are close use words that show they are set apart. Try to say, "Our bedroom, our house, our children, etc." Think of you and your husband as a team.

6. Touch.

It sounds corny, but hugs are healthy. So, hug your husband when he comes home, instead of just giving him a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Touch his shoulder while he's driving; hold hands while you pray at church, offer to rub his back.

~ Marriage Monday ~

I love being married to Dave. We are celebrating our 40 years of marriage this year! May 16, 1970 we were married in Canoga Park, California. It was a sunny gorgeous California day. A day girls dream of. It was simple and elegant ~ a Church wedding in the Church I grew up in. All my loved ones were there. My sister was my maid of honor. It was a wonderful day as I married my very best friend in all the world.

Forty years have flown by. Babies born. Many events. We've moved, and moved again. We have traveled, made lifelong friends, served in ministry together, raised a family, and enjoyed our grandchildren.

In May my thoughtful hubby took me to Hilton Head, South Carolina for a week of fun and celebration. It was wonderful and we made so many good memories, riding our bikes, laying on the sand, swimming in the pool, eating out, long walks on the beach. Remembering and reminding each other of sooo many past happy (& sad too) days and moments together. "The best is yet to be", Dave kept saying to me.

On our last day....we hit a bump. Life is like that. Messy and not predictable. I was sad to leave South Carolina and so was he. We loved our week together far from home.

The amazing thing to me came the next day! My honey took me aside and said I have something to tell you Sherry. I have another gift for you. Since this is our 40th year together.......I want to extend our celebration. So I commit to make this year extra special.

And HE has. We are ending week 22 this week. He has written me 5 times a week for 22 weeks ~ long notes. Notes of poetry, notes of remembrances, notes of Scripture, notes of love, notes filled with memories and notes of times of struggles. This is good stuff, hey, this is GREAT STUFF......I am sure it would be a 'best seller' if it was a book.

I have cried. I have laughed. I have been so moved!

I am grateful. I am blessed. Yes, I have written him notes too....not as many.....not even one a week, I am sad to say. He says that is okay. Hey, HE is the real writer in our family!

Dave is right. When you love the LORD, the BEST is yet to come. Do we have 'our moments'? Yes, we do. Yet, God's GRACE is our HOPE.

Thank you Lord for loving me so much to give me such a wonderful husband, one who loves YOU most of all and because of that fact ~ is the love of my life!!!

Thankful to HIM who is faithful, Sherry Lynette

PS. Next week ~ part 2.

~Marriage Monday on Thursday~

Since I missed Monday to blog on marriage, I thought today I would! Flexible is good!

I answered the phones at work today. I was in the outer office enjoying the comings and goings all day long as I typed or answered the ringing phones. One of my friends came in and said "Hi" as she was going about her business, not as 'peppy' as usual. So I asked "things okay?". She alluded to the fact that things go haywire once in awhile in marriage. This was one of those days. We chatted for just a minute or two about marriage and I reminded her we don't always have to agree with each other to have a fabulous marriage.....differences are good and that is okay.

I just have to say it!

Life is messy. We don't live 'perfect' lives, or live in a 'perfect' world.

Cars break.

Kids vomit,

Water heaters leak,

Friends forget.

Spaghetti sauce splashes all over the new wallpaper,

Kids break lamps,

Dogs pee where they are not supposed to,

Children color on newly painted walls,

Hubbies get tied up at work,

Moms get loud,

We get tired and cranky,

Teenagers don't call,

Homework gets eaten by the dog,

Cookies for a surprise get burned,

A friend doesn't show up,

Broken bones happen,

People over sleep,

Rain ruins the hair-do for the date,

Sickness hits at an inopportune time,

Repairs take the money we planned for a surprise,

Spills leave stains.

Clothes rip.

Sweaters get lost.

We miss the bus.

Arguments erupt.

We lose our way.

Friends die.

We get disappointed.

We forget a bill.

Someone misunderstands us.

.......Lots and lots of things HAPPEN!

To all of us!

Life happens.

Messy at times--I remember so many times one of our babies filling a diaper to overflowing just as we got them strapped into the car seat~ dripping 'stuff' all over the car seat and our clean outfit ~ already running late for Church and my hubby is the Pastor! Whoa.....what can I say? Life happens.

I said to my friend, "Dave and I don't always agree on everything. If we did, one of us is un-necessary. Hey---I don't even agree with myself all the time.....ask my kids. I have been known to change my own opinion more than once!!"

Agreement is not what makes a fabulous marriage.

Commitment is.

Love is.

Respect is.

Forgiveness is.

A willingness to work through the things that really matter and let the 'little things' life is made of 'go'.

We are not perfect yet we know 'the Perfect One'. He gave HIS life for us. As a wife and Mom I am investing my life in those I love as I come to know HIM better and better each day. Center on HIM and the things that have eternal value.

Allow yourself to laugh at yourself and the funny things that happen around you. Love people and not 'things'. Tell them you love them, even when you don't agree!

Life is short. What do you want to be remembered for? Grouchy and impatient? Or loving and fun to be with? Short-tempered or long suffering? Sweet or bitter? Frowning or smiling (ugh!)..".did my kids really ask me why I had my mad face on?" (yes...to my shame..)

Life happens.

How will you respond? How will I respond?

I am glad 'chatting' with my friend reminded me of something today. My day does not have to go well for me; or my hubby and I to fully agree about everything to be happy! I already am happy because of WHO lives in me! How delightful!

Happy to be a daughter of the KING ~ Lynette

Greenville, South Carolina

Rob preparing for Church Service~ Sunday
Hug a bunch after service ~
Genna, Sammy and Jeannette playing at the park ~ on Thursday
Thursday at the park....Genna and PopPop
Alex and PopPop ~
Sherry, Genna, Calvin, Tommy, Rob, Sammy, Jeannette & Alex
Hiking at Jones Falls State Park
This picture does not show how BIG the rock Alex is on really is!
Sammy ~ our cutie!

Calvin ~ always on the move!
Genna and MiMi ~ posing...ha
Tommy and Sammy playing on the scooters~ at the park.

We had so much fun in Greenville, South Carolina. We went to see our kids. We went to the State Park, hiking. We sat and chatted. We went to Church at Greenville Presbyterian Church. We enjoyed our family ~ our kids and grandkids. God is so good! I personally wish we lived closer, but that is not the LORD's plan. You see Rob is a Pastor and so is his Dad. HIS way is perfect! I am grateful for our times together! We are so blessed ~ FOREVER!

Marriage Monday~

Today is Marriage Monday ~

"Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:24 -25

Scripture tells us that we, as wives, are to submit in EVERYTHING to our own husband. RESPECT is what our husband appreciates. Husbands are told to LOVE their wife. God knows that is what speaks to a wife...love. (More about this another day) So many women love their husbands yet do not respect them, which is what their husband wants most. Love and respect are two different aspects of marriage. Go look them up in the dictionary...I'm sure you will be surprised!

As we think about marriage and how we are with our husbands it should cause us to ponder why we do what we do. Do I show respect? Do I esteem my husband? Do I lift him up in the eyes of my kids? Do I show proper attention? A man longs to be respected. God has made him this way and God has given me to him as a means of grace in this area. I must confess at times I fail to do these things and it makes me sad. What if the Church didn't listen to Jesus? What if Jesus was shown no respect by believers? It would be a broken and sad church wouldn't it?

We are wives who need to take GOD at his WORD! We often don't have the witness in our world that we desire because we don't respect our husbands the way God calls us to. As a believing wife, I need to run to the CROSS and confess my failings, knowing God in his grace and mercy forgives me. He also helps me exhibit Christ-likeness in my respect for my husband.

May we all commit to live as God asks and enables us to live. Yes, I will forget, but that isn't the point. The point is I 'want' to live for HIM! Isn't it great to know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Respecting my husband because God asks me to!

I'm committed....I hope you are too.

Faithfully His, Lynette

Stand by your MAN~

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make a helper fit for him." Genesis 2:18

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Marriage ~ we love it. We talk about it. We get frustrated at times in it. We invest in it. We enjoy it. We are happy when others join in it. We cry when people break it. We are surprised by it. We are hurt by it. We are enriched by it. We grow in it. We struggle at times in it. We love it.

1. Watch your Man
~What is a friend? One who will be a 'real' blessing to my soul? One who tells me that which I desire to hear? "Is it enough that he would spend his time and energies in my service? This comes far short of my desire....The friend for my case is one, who will watch over me with open rebuke....the genuineness of friendship without this mark is more than doubtful, its usefulness utterly paralyzed." ~ Charles Bridges, Proverbs

~Make your husband your friend....there is a difference you know!

~God has gifted you to watch your man.

2. Watch how you watch

~Do not nag, harp and bark

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverb 21:9

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike. Proverbs 27:15

"Quarrelsomeness is the habitual critiquing of male leadership, expressed in the tone and spirit of of sarcasm rather than respect for male leadership. It is how the good gift of female guidance expresses itself when twisted and controlled by sinful self centered-ness rather than by the Spirit and by love. It harps and barks and nags and belittles the man and his position as leader." --John Ensor ~ Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart (I believe every woman should read this book before she gets married and every year there after ~ it should be required!)

~Take the log out of your own eye.

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Convicting isn't it? I need to hear this often, you need to hear this often, we all need to hear it often. Enough for today......more tomorrow!

In need of God's Grace today, faithfully His, Lynette