I am a very happily married woman of 40 years! My hubby is one very terrific person, and one very very wonderful husband. I not only am madly in love with him, more and more each day, but I truly LIKE him and would want him as a friend even if I wasn't married to him. He is one of the most balanced, well rounded individuals I have ever met. He has so many interests and reads, reads, reads all the time! He is so interesting to me still after all these years.
One of our 40 year habits has been reading good books on marriage together! Sometimes we read separately or sometimes together ~ just depends on what is going on here on the home front. I especially like reading the ones on sex together---and discuss, smile! He finds them. I find them. We find them. I want to never stop growing in my marriage! I am not perfect and he says he isn't either. We both realize we are sinners but greater is the grace God gives to us, than our sin. Dave is one very easy person to ask forgiveness of. It still amazes me after all these years how he gives me such grace when I deserve it not.
Believe it or not on our 2nd honeymoon at Hilton Head Island ~ we had what I call a 'tiff'. A disagreement, a challenge (what he would call it--smile), a fight (we never call it that--ha) or 'words' some would say. All married people have disagreements. ALL. It is part of life. Just know that all couples have a 'tiff' once in awhile! We are not perfect. We have expectations some days (it is best to give all expectations to the Lord---I've learned this the hard way!) and we hurt each other from not paying attention, selfishness, irritability, tiredness, loneliness and a host of other sins.
Anyway, it was painful to both of us. But by God's grace. we resolved it quickly thanks to James 3 and 4. What causes quarrels? OUR CRAVINGS! We want what we want! Maybe good things. Maybe not. But we want it ---so we quarrel.
Check out this book......your marriage will thank you!
~Seeing with New Eyes ~
Quote from David Powlison's book:
"I have yet to meet a couple locked in hostility (and the accompanying fear, self-pity, hurt, self-righteousness) who really understood and reckoned with their motives. James 4:1–3 teaches that cravings underlie conflicts. Why do you fight? It’s not “because of my wife/husband…”—it’s because of something about you. Couples who see what rules them—cravings for affection, attention, power, vindication, control, comfort, a hassle-free life—can repent and find God’s grace made real to them, and then learn how to make peace."
—Seeing with New Eyes (P&R, 2003), p. 151.
PS. Our 2nd honeymoon was better than the first one ~ with the LORD it only gets better and better! His mercies are new every day!
Sounds like a great book! I am so thankful for a hubby who can't stand disagreements and always humbles himself first, even if he is right! After almost 11 years of marriage, I am beginning to finally follow his PATIENT example of humility and it is such a great means to receive grace. I love the oneness shared when we can both be imperfect and still love each other :)
ReplyDeletebtw- you are a regular blogger now! awesome, encouraging job!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Davesgirl~ you are one of the main reasons I even have a blog. Thanks for the encouragements and input.
ReplyDeleteI think being honest about our sins and shortcomings adds to our oneness in the Lord ~ we are heirs together in the grace of God! I must add my hubby makes it easy for me to approach and seek forgivness from him often. Our God loves us unconditionally and I want to love like that too---my Dave is a good example of that to me!